We won't sleep together?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
where does the pee come out of this thing
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
