I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
