White coat. Heels.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Randomize
