Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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