Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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