I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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