I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
