i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
