i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
