Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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