I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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