The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
