ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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