Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
