I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
