Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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