my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
