remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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