I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
