I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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