Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
