We're facebook friends in real life
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
