last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
