ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
