Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
