You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
