I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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