so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
