Sponge bath it is.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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