is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize