the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize