Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
