It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize