I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
