just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize