First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
