her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
