After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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