hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
