No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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