my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
