Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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