; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
