why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There r osticjed everywhere
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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