i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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