Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
