He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
