I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
