She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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