Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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