FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
