yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
