one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
