I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize