My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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