A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
