We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
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