Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
im six kinds of drunk right now
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
