Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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