I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
