WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
