Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
