what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
