let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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